Friendship is something that I don’t understand well. We all need to work on the friendship skills that we possess. As rates for suicide, divorce, and homelessness rise. The common line between many of these is looking after the fellow man. 

To look after yourself in this culture is consuming. Often, we choose to turn to satisfaction in order to find purpose. What makes you feel fuifulled? What makes you happy ? How do you spend your time ? How do you spend your personal time ? If we were only to look outside our selfish nature and see what is around us, we would actually see ourselves. In order to look at yourself, you must first see others as they are. In my past, I have often turned to short-term immediate gratification to deal with issues within my life, which led me to be self-absorbed.

The next easiest thing to do is to look after one person. To find yourself in one other person. Investing all your energy into this one relationship. Many times in my life, I have stumbled into this. It’s easy to have one good friend or relationship. This only works if you both unconsciously fall into this phase of the relationship. Where you communicate together in order to feel safe in the knowledge that they will be there. Growing in deep understanding of each other. Through creating a perceived unique relationship and shared experiences through a level of shared skill sets. Ultimately, not learning from one another, at least not as much as a shared relationship.

I have always found having a friendship with multiple people hard. In the same way, having conversations in a group is also sometimes difficult. Using a one to one relationship and sharing that friendship with a wider group is one of the most amazing things. To sit down on a beach with a fire enjoying each other’s company and stories. The ability to get more than one person’s opinion on any particular topic discussed has been an undervalued and undiscovered resource for many. Quality friendship is one shared open community. Each with your own interests and desires. As I remember back, I remember more the groups of friends and the activities we did rather than the emmence amounts of time I spent with individuals. The simplest of these seems to be an absurd idea of simply watching the moon rising with my friends. I don’t remember who’s idea it was, but I remember everyone’s reactions and how we felt as the moon rose into the night sky. It’s one of those treasured moments that I hope to encourage and grow in the people I interact with.

Maintaining and growing friendships with a variety of people is an important part of life. People change, and relationships fail. One individual will have a different experience to another. Some will be better suited to deal with one topic or situation. Having too many can have the opposite effect where you get overloaded and opposing ideas. It is always wise to choose your friendships wisely.

Often, when group events are published, if not alluring enough, they can fall by the wayside for various reasons. In one way, it’s important to have a core group of two or three people to start the initial plans. In the past, I have felt like I have known about events and decided that I didn’t want to go because I didn’t feel like it. This is something we need to break to an extent.

Friendships are always something to work on. There are so many other views on friendship. Through this, I hope that you are challenged to examine what it is to be a friend and how we can be better friends.